Getting Back on Track

This is probably the 100th article you’ve read about starting your New Year off right and getting back on the wagon. Hell, even Oprah’s fallen off. But it’s not about how many times you fall off; it’s how many times you get back up again.


“Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”



REFLECT.
Stop and realize why you want to start all over again…why you want to work towards your goal. More importantly, what’s the real reason you fell off in the first place? Why do you want this? When do you want to get there? Do you want it for someone else or do you want it for yourself? It’s imperative to know the answers to these questions so you don’t repeat the mistake.



REFOCUS.
Keep your eye on the prize. Get rid of all distractions; eliminate anything and anybody that will try to stop you. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. It’s very necessary. Then, make a plan to get there. (Make it realistic, will ya?) If you’re giving yourself a year to get there, then take it week by week. Better yet, take it day by day. It’s all a part of the puzzle. Plan, implement, execute. It’ll all come together in the end…if you follow the plan!



REJUVENATE.
Get fired up, get excited, get back in the game! Take classes. Find a mentor. Create a journal. Make a goal poster. Do whatever takes to get you going – to ultimate place where you are eating, sleeping and breathing your dream/goal.



REEVALUATE.
Think about your routine before you fell off. Analyze what worked for you and what didn’t. Incorporate what did work in your daily routine and add on to it. Whatever didn’t work, figure out why and never do it again.



RECOMMIT.
Address your goal as if this was the first time you committed to it. Take it and yourself very seriously. Set yourself a deadline and let just a couple of friends or family members know when it is so they can hold you accountable. Solemnly swear to never talk about or come across this problem again.

Lo from 'The Hills' Does Good

See not everyone on ‘The Hills’ has to be completely empty and shallow. Lo Bosworth (LC’s best friend) addressed and read to students at Warren Lane Elementary (in Inglewood) for the Stephanie Sparks Hope Foundation Project, Read for HOPE. I love, love, love, love it when we’re out there in schools reading to the kids. Skeptics I know what you’re thinking – but I don’t think this was done for publicity. I think Lo and this organization were actually doing this for the good of the children. (The Foundation has a celebrity tour that goes around and reads at different schools. Eva Mendes and Nia Long have both participated in the project as well.) I commend her for her good doing. It’s better than starting a clothing line or taking half naked pictures. There’s nothing wrong with a clothing line but we’ve got to use power and fame for good when we get it. Not just to become more famous…

The Stephanie Sparks Hope Foundation was “established to promote reading and literacy to all children.” Since 2003, when Project Read for HOPE was created, over 70,000 books have been donated to schools. (45,000 of them donated this year alone)

To learn more about Project Read for HOPE and the Stephanie Sparks Hope Foundation, be sure to visit their site.

Diamond Empowerment Fund's Dinner for Africa

Last night was the Diamond Empowerment Fund’s Empowerment dinner for Africa in NYC. DEF which was started by hip hop mogul Russell Simmons last year is an international non-profit organization dedicated to “funding education programs in African countries where diamonds are a natural resource.” Stars like Cassie, Kim Kardashian, Rev Run and Justine Simmons all came out to support the cause.

The Simmons Jewelry Co. which is responsible for the jewelry lines like Hello Kitty by Kimora Lee Simmons and Brown Sugar by Justine Simmons raised over $300,000 through the sales of the Green bracelet which is made out of diamond and malachite and the official symbol of DEF. The bracelet is available at stores like Macy’s, Kay, Zales, Gordon’s Jewelers and a few other retailers.

For more information on how to get the bracelet or DEF please visit their site.

CNN Heroes

For the second year now, CNN searches for extraordinary people the world considers heroes. And out of thousands of nominees, they've finally narrowed it down to ten.

This year the ten include a Louisiana native who has rebuilt the homes of 120 families affected by Katrina, a Detroit native helping hundreds of Senegalese girls in school and business and a formerly incarcerated woman who keeps children connected with their imprisoned parents through video.

After reading their stories, I've realized that not only are these people really "heroes" but also that they are truly remarkable. As a reward each finalist will receive $25,000. The public then decides (voting is now closed) who the 'Hero of the Year' is. The winner wins an additional $100,000.

The show was this past Saturday with celebrity guests including CNN's own Anderson Cooper, Taylor Swift, Jessica Biel, Rachel Zoe, Terrence Howard and performances by John Legend and Alicia Keys.

Be sure to catch the show and see who the big winner is when it airs on Thanksgiving Day at 9PM on CNN.

To find out more about this year's nominees, check out CNN.

Can You Help Me?

So after coming back from NYC where you can eat every kind of food POSSIBLE, a friend had an issue with picking a meal at a Thai restaurant. She confessed that she didn’t really enjoy her meal and that she really isn’t good at picking her meals whenever she goes to new restaurants. I decided to write about it…

And share my tips with the world.

Look for what you like. First and foremost, read the menu. Give yourself and the restaurant a chance. At the Thai restaurant last week, they didn’t really have what I wanted so I looked for food I was familiar with. If you’re not familiar with the fried peanut sauce and you don’t even favor peanuts like that anyway: stay away. I’m all about trying new things but base it off of what you like. Completely foreign foods are like playing the lottery…hitting the jackpot is seldom. I ended up ordering the Chinese broccoli with chicken. I’ve had Chinese food before and I like chicken. Go figure. Granted the dish had a little more greens (aside from broccoli) than I anticipated but it was delish!

Ask what’s good. After reading the menu thoroughly you realize that they you don’t see anything you are familiar with or would order. That’s when you starting asking questions. Ask the date you’re with, the friends you came with or your waiter what the popular dish of the day is or what the restaurant is known for. The first night I was in the city, I went to this chic Spanish restaurant and asked what good appetizers they had. Turned out they were known for their grilled corn with chili powder. I was a little apprehensive about it (especially the chili powder) but it turned out to be the most delicious corn I’ve ever tasted. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, you might miss out on good corn.

Smell around. Maybe I’m the greediest human being on earth but when I enter a restaurant I use all five of my senses. But I notice that smell usually will dominate all of the senses and conquer me into ordering whatever that sweet aroma maybe. Fresh bread, baked chicken, fried seafood…all of these have a distinctive smell and make my mouth water. Look around and see what’s on people’s plates (especially the folks sitting right next you) and you may find what you’ve been smelling all along.

Meat and potatoes. Rarely does this ever fail. Everyone has had a burger and fries and it’s a combination that usually leaves their customer satisfied. It’s familiar and a lot of restaurants carry it. Believe me I know. I’ve been eating that combo since I was 3 and just step out of its boundaries when I was 21. Hey, they’ve never let me down so why would steer away from that? (To try something new, duh.) If it’s not a burger and fries, most eateries have steak and mashed potatoes or some kind of traditional meat and potato meal that you grew up on.

Copycat it. If don’t see anything you like, you can’t build up the nerve to ask what’s good, nothing smells good to you and they have the audacity to not have the All-American cheeseburger on their menu, find something familiar on anybody’s plate and tell your server, “I’ll have what they’re having.” Sure, not being original is lame but saying it like that makes you sound like you’re talking about something. Hopefully, you’ll end up liking it and coming back to the restaurant because their chicken and broccoli with peanut sauce and jasmine rice is to die for.

Or make the person you copied pay for the crap and use the money you saved to buy a number three at the nearest McDonalds five minutes later.

It’s a win-win situation.

NYC!

Yes, yes. I know. I’ve been promising to post more regularly and it’s been about a week or so. But people I’ve been in my favorite place EVER…that’s right: New York City.

I’ve been having the time of my life. Dealing with people traffic, eating sandwiches from the deli at your local bodega and going out every single night. But honestly that’s not what it’s about. Aside from the shopping and the amazing opportunities, I have seriously met some of the most interesting and best people that are now some of my good friends. It’s funny because a lot of people expect New Yorkers to be a**holes but they’re not. They’re just always in a rush. But once you get a minute from them they’ll more than likely be willing to talk, help you get where you need to go or commit a random act of kindness.

Shocker…I know.

But it’s true. There’s no way a little lady from a small town in PA (me) came to this city three years ago and made it on her own with no family living there in a city full of a**holes. Of course, there are your occasional sour grapes but you can find those anywhere. But think about it, if New Yorkers were all so bad would 8 million people be living there?

Didn’t think so…

How Powerful Words Can Be

I’m going to do my best, but this is going to sound a little cliché especially since I’m a blogger/writer.

WORDS are incredibly powerful. The way we say them, how we write them, even the way we take them. Never underestimate how much power you possess with your words. Whether you’re giving a speech or telling a story – those things can have lasting effects. Even paying someone a compliment can make a difference in their day, their week…maybe even in their life. I think we take for granted how we talk to people because it’s such a social norm to speak to folks just to break random silence as we pass people by walking in the grocery store, interact with them while we’re shopping or thanking them for doing something as little as opening the door for us. It’s gotten to the point where people are so jaded sometimes that they don’t pay attention to the fact that you’re actually paying attention to them.

Maybe I’m an emotional freak of nature but when I ask you how you are, nine times out of ten I actually want to know. I’m just not talking for the sake of hearing myself talk. I take common courtesy extremely seriously and it pisses me off that I’m not worth 2.3 seconds of your time that you can’t even thank me for holding the elevator for you. Am I angry?

Yes, people.

You’ve got to pay attention to how you affect people with little words such as “thank you” or “you look really nice today”. They can make such a big difference. Why has it become so hard for us as a generation to be nice to each other and more importantly use our words legitimately and for good use? (Now, I’m not saying go out of your way to lie to someone just to be considered "kind".) I’m just saying don’t let this technology saturated, pop culture obsessed, money driven world taint you to the point where you let courtesy completely escape you. All we care to talk about these days is ourselves: what we’ve done, what we’re doing and better yet what someone can do for us.

It’s disappointing, but I've got hope for us.

I’ve probably watched a little too much Oprah (as if you can) but feeling empowered and feeling good about myself is refreshing especially when it comes from an unexpected source. Surprise someone today…and say something nice. Not because you have to, but simply because you have the power to do so.

Happiness...is it all it's cracked up to be?

Is there ever a good enough reason to compromise your happiness?

Being that it is a few days after my 24th birthday, earlier I stopped and reflected all that I’ve been through. Living in 5 different countries, attending various elementary schools, minor injuries and major mosquito bites, a bee sting, butting heads with two conservative parents, sharing secrets with a free spirited sister, five learning experiences called relationships, remaining television free on weekdays until the age of 18, a stint at Penn State then taking three years off, sporadically living in New York then moving down to the A where it seems like I have started all over again. And after all that reminiscing I’ve realized that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

Regardless of how much money I don’t have, how many people don’t approve and where I’m supposed to be in life, I no longer let any of that affect my contentment. I know there are books on how to obtain it and society has made us believe that it is such a hard notion to acquire but in all actuality, it’s not that hard.

Okay, maybe I’m biased because I’m the happy person. But I realized in my past experiences that my happiness really depends on me, but because I believed it was on someone or something else it was compromised. At the end of the day, there’s never a good enough to compromise your happiness. If you love to dance, someway somehow you should be dancing everyday. If you love to sing, the shower should be your stage and people should be telling you to stop singing so much on a daily basis. I love to write so I will make sure I write a little something everyday (well at least 5 days out of the week) whether it’s a blog post, a song or a journal entry. In this day and age where you can make a billion dollars off of a little idea called Facebook because you liked networking with your friends via PC because computers make you happy – you can’t afford you not do what you love. Well, you can but you may miss out on a big payout.

Of course, like I said before I’m happy so maybe you shouldn’t take it from me. But have a little conversation with yourself, develop a life plan and point out distinctively what makes you happy. What do you enjoy doing? It’s so funny because after working for the man for so long and catering to your family, friends or spouse/significant other’s needs you become lost and ignorant to what really made you happy in the first place. Take some time to figure it all out and trust me it’ll be worth it. If not, just stop worrying about what other people say, don’t psych yourself out if you’re tired, lazy or scared of it and accept happiness for what it is. The things you once thought would thrill you may not be all you ever dreamed of and maybe that one thing you never thought you’d give a chance can give you that peace you’ve needed all along.

In hindsight, maybe happiness isn’t so easy to obtain because as they say you’ve got to go through the rain to get a rainbow. But I’m telling you, once you get through that storm, smooth sailing has never felt so good.

So to answer my own question, there is absolutely no reason good enough to compromise my happiness. Because I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

The Good Life: T.I. Gives Wheelchair Charity A Hand

T.I. was doing good in New York the other day. He helped out in the Wheelchair Charity, visited the patients and staff. In fact, he's been doing a lot of good lately. Last week, he spoke to Chamblee High School in Atlanta and numerous other young people across the country. Now, inevitably I'm sure there are haters saying that he's only doing all that he's doing recently because he just got off of house arrest but you know what? If that's what it takes for him to do good then so be it. Some people get off of house arrest or get out of jail and don't give back whatsoever. And even sometimes they go and do the same thing they got locked up for. Change is instantaneous because it's a choice. I'm glad to see that Tip's choice is to grow from his past situation.

T.I.'s Myspace Page